I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
