And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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