those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize