dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
