Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
