What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Its about making memories worth repressing
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
