I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
The ass gains better be worth it
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