You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
