? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
