R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize