Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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