That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
