these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
