i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
