I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
