He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
