Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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