Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
