I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize