the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
