I look better un-naked...
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
