Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Randomize