i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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