Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
