Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
