I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
Randomize
