Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
