Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
