Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
