But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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