can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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