If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
