I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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