Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
