ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
