drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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