I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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