how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
