Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
