in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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