It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
