Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Can you bring me the toilet please
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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