I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he was CRYING into my vagina
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
We left an ass print on the piano.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
