My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
