I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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