Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
