If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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