i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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