got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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