Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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