Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
operation harelip BJ is a go
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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