just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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