Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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