I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
