Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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