omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The adults are the big ones right?
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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