This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize