i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You made out with two different species that night
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize