I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
