It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
