idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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