I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
