I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
