Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
