Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
