i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Still dying that you shit outside
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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